Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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