yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
