This is not my ceiling
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
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Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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