Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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