did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
