none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
