We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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