I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
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I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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