no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
