Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
