Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
