Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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