Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize