Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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