there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
