Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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