Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
