There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
