its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
