You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
either way he was missing a nipple.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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