how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
