ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
