Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it hurts more in the daytime
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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