Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
