i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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