why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
