Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
