Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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