so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
