You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
