If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
