That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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