i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
