There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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