Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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