Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
