What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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