I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just forgot I was standing up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
