3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
