Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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