I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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