the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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