I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
