Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
