Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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