I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize