turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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