i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
