do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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