so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
