Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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