hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
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just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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