Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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