I am in a vortex of obligation.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
