I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
