i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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