Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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