no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize