Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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