wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
