dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
