Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
