erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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