I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You left your phone here
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