i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
