How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
